MEDIATION THAT WORKS, PART IV: LYDIA’S CHEAT SHEET

November 19, 2012 § 1 Comment

This is Part IV in a five-part series by attorney and mediator Lydia Quarles with some insights into how you can help ensure success in your domestic mediation.

LYDIA’S CHEAT SHEET

Questions to ask yourself in order to aid the mediator if the process gets bogged down:

  • What does my client want to achieve?
  • What does my client think the other party wants to achieve? 
  • Does my client have any particular expectations about the process or expectations about the resolution? 
  • Can my client identify for the mediator what he/she believes the key issues are? 
  • Can my party identify for the mediator what he/she believes the key stumbling blocks to resolving the issues are, either for him/herself or for the other party? 
  • Does my client have to “account” to others for the resolution which may be reached, or “explain” his/her decision to others (advisor, family, friend)? If so, what do I need to know about those others? 
  • Does my client have an interest in maintaining a relationship with the other party or, for that matter, initiating a better relationship with the other party? In Chancery matters, it is often significant for relationship protection to occur within the context of a mediation. Chancery is often the “family court” and family matters, however strained, can be protected and, with a good mediator, even improved. 
  • Does my client perceive that the other party has ulterior motives? 
  • Does my client have personal goals that will be affected by the outcome of the process? 
  • Are there any outside constraints on the outcome, either real or perceived?

 

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§ One Response to MEDIATION THAT WORKS, PART IV: LYDIA’S CHEAT SHEET

  • kennebunklegal says:

    This is the best post in the series so far in terms of the actual preparation for mediation. The number of times I’ve been in a mediation both representing a party and as a mediator when one or both attorneys does not know the answers to these (and other) questions going into the mediation is a constant source of amazement. It is not surprising, however, the number of times that those mediations were unsuccessful.

    It is especially important to begin this part of the preparation process early as often even the client doesn’t really know the answers to these questions until we ask them and assist the client in recognizing their own answers to them.

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