INTERNAL AFFAIRS

April 25, 2011 § Leave a comment

In a post aptly entitled Intestinal Fortitude, the blog Mocking Words enlightens us about two recent cases in which various surprising items were discovered in cavity searches of a woman in Scranton, PA and a man in Sarasota, FL.

As the term “cavity” implies, the searches involved rather intimate internal regions of the body accessible only by means that you probably prefer not to think about in detail.

The Scranton woman had concealed 51 packages of heroin, some 30-odd drug baggies, 8-1/2 prescription pills and fifty-two dollars and twenty two cents in her “cavity.”

*Ouch*

In the case of the Sarasota man, the routine cavity search on his booking into jail turned up: 17 oxycodone pills; one cigarette; six matches; a flint (!); an empty hypodermic syringe with an eraser stuck on the needle; one lip balm container; one condom; a drug store recipt; and a coupon.  I don’t know about you, but I don’t care to think about how that stuff got into that — uh — cavity.  I also don’t care to think about whether some unsuspecting bona fide purchaser for value without notice was going to smoke that cigarette or use that lip balm <shudder>.  And how much would you have to be paid to have the job of the store clerk to take that coupon?

Human ingenuity is an amazing thing, isn’t it?  If those two geniuses had devoted as much time and effort toward world peace as they did to hiding stuff in their nether regions, the world might be a better place.  Or maybe not.

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